Make It Work

The confirmation hearing for Andrew Puzder, Trump’s choice for Labor secretary, is scheduled for Jan. 17. While I’m sure the CKE Restaurant chief exec would prefer to answer questions like how much bacon he likes on his Double Bacon 3-way Burger™, here are a few of our suggestions for his confirmation hearings to suss out his vision for the workers of America.

Will women be allowed to choose their own outfits for work, or will bikinis be mandatory?

Puzder is the head of Carl’s Jr and Hardee’s fast-food restaurants, known for their sexually charged commercials. The elderly among will us remember Jessica Simpson eating a burger in a bikini while washing a car, or Paris Hilton eating a burger… while washing a car… in a bikini, while another commercial for the brand featured three models feeding each other bacon set to music about having a threesome. The models were wearing bikinis. It seems fair to ask: will bikinis be mandatory under Puzder’s tenure as Labor Secretary? When little girls dream of being astronauts and judges, should we buy them space suits and black robes for make-believe parties, or should we buy them space suit and black robe bikinis?

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